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And yet, you still might not know exactly what OMGYes is or what it does. I'm talking to you. You're my friend!
Why did I just whisper that to you? Don't talk about it. We all want it but we don't talk about it. We're still living in a world, not my world, but a world, where we censor the word clitoris on television and pixelate breasts that belong to a headless bronze statue during the five-o'clock news.
If our sensitivity to sex wasn't obvious, blurring a half-nude, bronze, headless statue should tell you where we're at. We're not in a good place Berkeley and now lifelong friends.
The two worked on the concept for years thanks in part to the realization that nobody was doing anything constructive about the topic of sex, why we hate talking about it, why we're uptight when someone around us starts to talk about it, and why everyone has failed in really understanding the deep pleasures we have in it.
However important OMGYes is, it's a project that had to wait for technology to catch up to it. But more crucial perhaps was the need to wait until a younger generation was maybe able to carry it a bit further along.
OMGYes probably couldn't have happened decades ago or even ten years ago, as Perkins told me over the phone. But don't make the mistake thinking OMGYes is pornography-- a common misconception that I got when talking to people about what it is that I was writing about.
Diana, one of the women who is featured in the videos, told me that one of the main differences in the site is that "it has a purpose. It has a goal.
And it has a very important purpose and goal. Pornography is going in the direction of pleasing the person who's watching as opposed to educating the person who's watching it," she said.
For those who still saw it as porn, I found myself asking the question, "Well, ok, what is your definition of pornography, then?
Because that phrase, "I know it when I see it," was uttered fifty-two years ago by Justice Potter Stewart to describe his threshold test for obscenity.
Yes, the women on OMGYes masturbate on camera, and yes it's in front of you and up close. But it's not pornographic.
I've watched porn I've heard about porn. OMGYes isn't obscene, but rather quite the antithesis. It is clean, refined sexual education. The following video is a demonstration of OMGYes' "touchable videos.
Viewer discretion is advised. I became aware of OMGYes sometime after it launched in December of last year, thanks to a friend who had been using it.
I knew it was interesting enough to write something about, I just didn't know what or how, because I think, as a male, the project is revolutionary in its goal of making sex education shameless and open.
There have been many articles written about OMGYes since its launch. About the science and the data behind it. But nobody has yet to hear from the women behind the sexual phenomena.
So I did. I spoke to three of the women who bared all literally about what the process was like to have cameras all around them during their most intimate moments.
But finding these women was almost an impossible task, thanks in part to the strict confidentiality that Danniler and Perkins afforded the women.
It took weeks to track these women down, and that's with the help of their publicist. Their real names never appear on the site or in the videos, so I too, will use their character names.
The final product, what you see on the screen, is a result of years of research and initial studies conducted by OMGYes from more than two-thousand women, ranging in ages from To get a better idea of what these women thought and how they thought about sex , I thought it would be important to speak with women of different ages.
So I spoke to Diana, a recent college graduate. Amber, a year old military-wife and mother. And Maria, a year old, divorced mother of three.
Before the interviews, I was worried the women might be hesitant to speak with not just a writer, but a male. After all, in some of these instances I had just seen them masturbating and was concerned they might be questioning my interest in their stories, because it's not every day that a woman talks to a complete stranger over the phone about masturbation techniques, clits, and orgasms.
And then I realized what I was writing about and what these women have already done. The project began, as they all told me, with a simple Craigslist ad, written by Danniler and posted for women who might be interested in a study about sexuality, but focusing on women.
Diana mentioned her hesitation in the beginning -- responding to Craigslist ads mentioning sex studies can set off the creep meter.
But whatever hesitations the women had in the beginning were quickly relieved, thanks in part to Danniler's motherly process. She made it so comfortable for all of us," Maria told me.
And that wasn't just by accident. Danniler spends most of her time as a photographer, so by default, making people comfortable in front of the camera comes natural to her.
Diana told me that even up until the moment she was taking her clothes off to start filming, she was assured, "if you want to back out, you can.
Don't worry. But its one-sided sexual stimulation experience created by viewing and virtually touching these women through a screen runs the risk of continuing to promote female sexual pleasure as something to be achieved rather than cooperated, intuited rather than asked about, and perfected rather than made genuine.
This could reinforce the disconnect between pleasure and communication that mainstream porn has already vastly propagated.
We listened to how exactly she likes to experience this kind of touch and why. She cautioned us against moving too quickly or venturing away from her clitoris too far or for too long, which rang realistic.
After a few minutes, in place of her climax, the video just ended. We won! This is like a video game.
The only feedback the user receives is verbal feedback from the participant — there is no score. In every workshop one of the first things we do is talk about porn.
However, it is new er information that young people are definitely watching porn especially with the ease-of-access via their smartphones.
Two examples: What is sexual pleasure? And how does it happen? But rarely are we taught the specifics of genital touch — what it looks like, what it feels like and how to do it.
OMGYes aims to fill the need for this kind of education. Porn distorts it terribly. And taboo and embarrassment surround the issue. So, OMGYes co-creators Rob Perkins and Lydia Daniller set out to fill in the pleasure education gaps by directly responding to what women said they want and need for greater sexual pleasure: communication.
But when they asked a representative sample of 1, American women ages 18 to 95 to tell them what makes for a good sex partner, the three most common characteristics were:.
Upon reviewing the site for Refinery29 , Sara Coughlin wrote, "The female orgasm has garnered a reputation for being so complex that many women have taken it upon themselves to draft specific instructions for partners.
But a new online training program, OMGYes , aims to lessen that educational burden by teaching people how to make any woman climax.
The vast majority of women require over 20 minutes of continuous and consistent clitoral stimulation in order to climax. Female orgasm is complex and unique and yes, Bobby Box, takes a little longer than some brief copy might convey.
All sexual partnerships should include the safety, space and expectation of specific instruction and a lengthy learning curve when it comes to pleasuring each other.
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